Top or Bottom?

Big Ben Strikes Twelve
Tick Tock

All the MSM and some wannabe MSM are doing their list of top stories for 2013.  As always in pursuit of occupation I decided on a dull and rainy afternoon to do one of my own:-

Jimmy Savile far from being  a generous man and all round national hero turned out to be in fact everything from paedophile to rapist to necromancer. His downfall brought to our attention the possibility of the existence and ongoing activities of a very highly placed and influential paedophile ring.  Its too early to say if the whole scandal will be brushed under the carpet (some might say again) but we can see that this latest investigation is already taking a very long time to get anywhere at all.  Too Long. We now have the story of a tory minister apparently filmed at the scene of a party to add to what is already known but so far the only people to be charged with any offence are what the MSM would describe as C or even D listing. We are told nothing more about the ex minister than that he, anonymously of course...insists he did not 'inhale'.  More than a bit sus imo and well past time for the thumb screws and rack.

Liam Adams is a case I have taken some interest in and it was both a relief and a pleasure to see him found guilty and sentenced. His sexual abuse of his daughter from the age of four, the support of his brother Gerry Adams in continuing to help Liam when he knew he was guilty of incest, and the alleged neglect of the police and social services in bringing charges against Liam gave this case an added intensity.  Its all the more worrying because it highlights the danger of lawless little fiefdoms, the total dishonesty of the kangaroo courts the leaders of the fiefdoms presided over and the blind eye the authorities may have turned in order to keep a tout on side.

Edward Snowden so different from the Adams family and Savile. Here is a man who acted to help us all by doing as much as he could to prevent the American NSA but also and by extension the security agencies of other western countries illegally hacking the email and other internet accounts of millions of people. Who knows if he is fully safe now or if he will ever be safe again.

Royal Baby.  Tbh it has not been easy to think of a good news story but since a healthy child is always good news I thought I would fill the gap by mentioning The duke and duchess of Cambridge first child. A boy named George etc. etc. he will no doubt grow to know his place.

Nelson Mandela died aged 94. I might at some stage go into more of his history but for now let me say I think his time on Robin Island was sufficient for his crimes and made him a good leader of South Africa at a time of great change. Twenty seven years in prison, sometimes doing hard labour, is not in itself a recommendation. The best I can say of Mandela is that he used his experience to help others.

Interesting

But why tell me?  Getting one thing right doesn't excuse getting the rest wrong. 

Magpies Take Over the Garden

Magpie

So the magpies have been well fed over Christmas. This is not surprising they have claimed the garden as their territory and attempt to fight all trespassers.

What is a surprise is how much they can collect in their beak at one sitting. Its huge!  Three big lumps of bread went in less than a second and they chip away at vegetable rind or anything slightly tough until it weakens!

They are beautiful birds and relentless in their pursuit of food which is understandable its about survival. I try to make sure the cats are in when the birds are about. I don't want anything unpleasant to happen nor am I entirely sure that my two lazy cats would come off well in a fight and herself, always far more energetic, her very name is a result of chasing off a magpie, is now too old for such frolicking

And the magpies are beautiful to watch in flight or on the ground, fast, eager and practical.

Bloated!

I feel like a beached whale or how I'm pretty sure a beached whale would feel if s/he could tell us. Its not as though I didn't know what we were going to eat, over the last few days I helped to buy and prepare most of it.

I'm exhausted, that's not so bad if I could sit here and gently ooze into the armchair it would be fine,almost fine. I have indigestion pills, tea and coffee and currently hiccups, they're not the problem though. The problem is four of the five animals are demanding food preferably turkey. The fifth, herself, is not she has taken to her nest by the radiator because in a weak moment and while the others were in the garden I gave her some of the turkey I brought home with me.

In a minute or two I will have to try getting up and staggering into the kitchen to feed the hungry hordes. I'm trying not to feel queasy while I think about that. I'm trying not to think about doing the same thing tomorrow. I may rat on tomorrow. Food is not on my horizon, cold non alcoholic drinks are on the horizon and Pippa has given up on courtesy its not like she was ever any good at it, and is trying to get my attention by climbing up my back.

I've done it, well for the time being it is done. The time being may not be as long as once it was or deserves to be. All four of them know they have not had much in the way of turkey and are already demanding seconds, even herself turned up to peer disdainfully at the offering and turn her still haughty back on it.

Its, I just don't feel like cutting turkey. I think that's allowed its not even nine o'clock! Nine of the clock is not supper time. I'm going to try ignoring them see if it works.
  

Lucky Us

Most pagans celebrate twice we get Yule and then Christmas, some may ignore Christmas but I really doubt that many can or would.  We have families who though they may not go to church very often do sometimes go to midnight mass and always insist that they are Christian. In their minds organised religion doesn't give Christianity to anyone it merely offers Christians a home should they wish to go to a church.

I don't care much I celebrate with family and friends the same as the vast majority. I will in fact be going out soon, just up the road for a festive drink, being sociable and not rejecting the good wishes of those who live near me.

I celebrated Yule but this year not with so much as a friend in sight. I didn't feel like it I still don't but its Christmas and so I must make a small effort. Sometimes it seems Christmas reaches out while Yule reaches in.

Herself (Again)

She has not had her breakfast. She has not had her lunch. She is lying sound asleep cuddling her radiator.  I think she is alright she has woken a couple of times wriggled a bit to get more comfortable she even washed her whiskers once but she has not got up all day.  Its almost 2pm and she is lying there looking quite comfortable, looking in fact sound asleep.

I know all of this because after about 10 am I began paying attention to her. All the others had eaten breakfast at about 9am, it is Sunday, she is usually first to be fed but she didn't appear. I wasn't worried she's an elderly lady if she wants to lie in who is going to say she can't?

I'm not worried about her I'm just saying she is asleep.

If she's not awake by tea time I will wake her myself. I'm not going out who could eat when an elderly lady is sound asleep.

Did I forgot to mention I always give her the softest, jellyest, gravyest part of the meat? I do.  The fuss she makes over anything that needs to be chewed is painful to hear and  embarrassing to watch.  She is asleep but she did turn over a few minutes ago. I'm not worried about her. Not a bit.

Its gone three.  She looks comfortable in her little nest. I had to introduce another radiator when the others took too great an interest in the old one now we have two electric rads to compliment the gas central heating. She is now nestled between a dresser and the new (ish) radiator. In there she is her own cat it has only one entrance the others can't get close. What can I say. I'm not worried. This is a first but I'm not worried.

She wakes!  15.45 we are going into the kitchen now to prepare her belated breakfast. She's not going out. She thinks she is but its cold out there and I'm not sure that if she left the garden she would remember her way home, and its almost twilight.

The light over the ring forte is always lighter at this time of day. From here it looks like another world and over there the day is just beginning.

Ultracrepidarianism

Or the habit of speaking about something without much knowledge of the subject.There are times when ultracrepidarianism  can probably be applied to me, truth to tell there are times when  ultracrepidarianism can be applied to most if not all of us which probably goes some way to explaining why ultracrepidarianism is a word not used very often!  However on some subjects there are few more expert than li'l oul me.

What I know is that for some people opinions expressed are not so much genuine beliefs as they are salable commodities to be finessed to which ever group is required by whichever, and the market seems broad, employers. Oftentimes such opinions are expressed on sites frequented by a predominantly young audience. There is a real danger that influence gained in this way could be harmful.

It becomes a form of advertising: an apparently young, confident, successful poster/blogger will enthuse wildly over a tv show oftentimes concentrating on the lead players good looks and wonderful personality. Photographs will be posted always flattering, youthful, fun to watch.

Paganism is another money earner, never have I seen so many altars there is one for every possible occasion and often some to spare.  Each of them has its own array of essential ornaments, stones, powders etc. etc. All available at 'X' store. Spells are posted which need this and that also available at the store.

Its blatant but its also subtle since every advert is placed by an ordinary person, a real witch, genuine fan of whichever.  Some may think its harmless even funny but its not its one of the most insidious forms of advertising I've seen and for the owners of the sites it has the added and most important advantage of increasing the number of hits because each employee has more than one identity and flits between them to boost their own numbers, the apparent popularity of their poster colleagues and ultimately the popularity of the site itself. All of this makes the people involved, their opinion, their self satisfaction and their expertise not worthless but potentially dangerous. The people who do this are well aware of how damaging exposure would be to them.

You don't like that? Find your hole, by all means use both hands and a map, and shove it.

Today

I think the lasagna was overcooked.  Not I think everyone would agree burned to a crisp but perhaps not far off that either, deeply singed might be an accurate way of describing it.  Not a dismal failure then but not a roaring success. I was busy doing stuff and I forgot or didn't notice the time rushing away from me.  I've noticed time does that a lot now that I'm post most things.

However!  The good news is I have discovered Jezzie and Olly love slightly burned lasagna. Both of them whomped down the top layer and are at the kitchen door trying their best to look half starved.  This is not easy both of them being on what might be called the plump side.

If you ignore the slightly overcooked thing the lasagna was actually very good. I like lasagna and this time even though I must be one of the messiest cooks in the whole world I remembered to do the washing up as I went along, almost all of it is done now and there is nothing better than eating a meal with a clean conscious.

I might walk the dogs if I can drag them away from the kitchen.

Think!

I’m always in trouble. Its the family they don’t like my animals, well that’s not exactly true they don’t like me having what they consider too many animals, and they don’t like that I insist on staying home to look after them even though the neighbours have several times offered to look after them whenever I go away.

I can see that I don’t get to visit anyone who lives more than a car, bus or train ride away. I do know that flying is easy and fast but flying is rarely a one day thing and I like to know my dogs and cats are safe for the night.

There are some very strange people about and the neighbours are a hundred yards or so away…And if you or anyone else thinks I could be persuaded it would all stop if I did?  Think again.  

Weather

I was going to go to town.  I had it all worked out. I wouldn't go to the local shop I would instead go to Tesco in Castlebar and maybe Boots and I think Shaws and then I saw the weather.

We definitely have weather here in Mayo today.  The cats are in, well they won't go out.  Two of them are wrapped around the radiator that's always left on for herself and the other one is fighting me for my chair. Both dogs would be happy to go for a walk with me, but Jezzie has added a clause, she will not go out if the harness is to be used.  She is anti harness.

I'm inclined to not go out I can go tomorrow or the next day.  I've arranged for the local shop to send some goodies.  I forgot mince pies well they're not essential.  I can get some tomorrow or Monday. Its going to be a long weekend. I might go to town tomorrow although not to Castlebar.

Do you know even the magpies are looking bedraggled and miserable.  I threw some peels and rinds out and any visitors would be well advised to watch out for the bowl of milk.  Its not deepest darkest winter yet but its a wild day and the wild might need a little sustenance, you know to keep the wind out. 

Take it off Please!

Jezzie wearing her new harness.  Its good for her!

Who Cares?

I follow some blogs that seem to delight in regurgitating old child abuse articles in newspapers.  To anyone who cares about the safety of children this sort of retrieval of old news is slightly worrying, bearing in mind that some perverts get off watching and reading  child porn,  often such people don’t consider that they’re doing any harm in  watching or reading about child abuse. In fact they are up to their arm pits in it because were it not for them there would be no need for the films and therefore no victims.

Okay so its not easy to know who is taking a strong and healthy interest in ensuring our children are properly protected and who is attempting to satisfy their perverted desires in what they might call a minimalist way.  Its not even possible to be sure who is an expert and who has gained and is using their expertise to allow them  to have access to vulnerable children.  These are two examples of  tiny pieces of the child abuse investigatory world and they are ones we should be very wary of and watchful for.   It seems clear that much of the experience we have has been corrupted by those with ulterior motives for their research and the results such experts publish reflect that.

There is another piece smaller but important and that is those victims of child abuse who grow up to become child abusers.  Its important to remember that its entirely possible that not all victims were abused, growing up in an atmosphere where abuse is common and not so much grudgingly tolerated as openly accepted within the environment is, must be, potentially very damaging.  Its not surprising for eg that so much abuse was allegedly committed by Christian Brothers many of the brothers would have grown up in similar atmospheres to them it must have appeared normal and so whilst in no way forgiving or mitigating it does allow for a certain understanding.

I’m furious that so many reports are apparently censored or worse unpublished, that investigations end with no charges being brought against any but minor characters when its obvious that in order for the crimes to be committed and hidden there must have been some very powerful characters pulling the strings.    I think its likely some people have been or are being persuaded that its been dealt with 'internally' no need for a huge fuss.  I don't believe anything has been dealt with' internally' for a very long time if ever and I don't believe many other people believe it either. Surely we need to campaign for full disclosure of the results of investigations undertaken anything less leaves an impression of cover up that may prevent victims from coming forward and so allow abusers to continue.

It appears to be happening again at the investigation into Savile at the BBC.  Its important I think that when an investigation takes place all evidence is placed before the public that’s why the investigation is taking place after all. No one should be able to decide who reads what if someone is cleared we should be able to read it. If someone is charged we should be able to read it and if someone in a very highly paid, much respected position has failed to live up to the standard the public require that too should be public. Investigations are not commissioned with one eye on the reputation of or innocent or guilt of people involved.  Innocence should be made clear through the evidence and the report when published should reflect that.

Its incredibly worrying that there appear to be so many people willing to allow such fudges, which in the worst cases amount to cover ups, to happen people whose job it is to look at child porn to find the adult responsible as in the recent Ian Watkins of Lost Profits case must be devastated when all the often sickening videos etc that they are forced to watch and report is dismissed or worse hidden from the public.  Some, apparently very few, stand up for the victims some have lost their jobs, entire and very successful careers have been destroyed, sacrificed if you will by those trying to expose paedophilia and protect all children.  Sadly, some the majority apparently, do as they are told and leave it when told.

I feel for those who have sacrificed their careers in their attempts to help the victims of abuse and I feel for those victims who have been so badly damaged that their evidence can be questioned and sometimes even ridiculed. There ought to be a better way; there isn't.

I think that is the most worrying aspect of all these investigations. 

Jezzie

Refused to go!  She flatly refused to walk on her new harness.  I had to drag her!  All the way there and even back she only got enthusiastic when she actually got to the gate.  I am so pissed off with her!

Little madam does what she likes and me?  I know my place.

Day Two

Herself and Jezzie

Herself has a poorly paw. I think its something to do with claws or one of her claws.  This particular claw has taken to getting stuck in things like the carpets, cushions and, me.  I've done my bit. I've extracted the claw with zero pain from said carpets, cushions and, me.  Speaking of me I wouldn't say the extraction was entirely pain free herself was fine I however felt some pain.

She is limping slightly I'm not sure why because apart from getting attached to things she doesn't want to be attached to there appears to be no pain in the paw or leg.  I had an amateurish poke and prod and since I emerged unscathed from this close encounter I am assuming poking and prodding doesn't hurt herself not being the suffer in silence type. I do totally understand this no one who knows me would describe me as the suffer in silence type either.

One who is suffering in silence to great effect is Jezzie.  Jezzie has a new harness.  This is her first harness. I think all dogs should be in a harness when outside. A harness gives more control, cannot be shaken off and doesn't choke the wearer.  A harness does apparently take some getting used to.  Jezzie has been suffering in silence all day.  The silence is deafening. Its getting on my nerves.

I had I must admit allowed the little girl to get away with wearing her collar but I don't like collars and nor does she, she's on her fourth.  I decided that little girl or not she is a trouble making bully who has no trouble crawling under or over any obstacle.  This has the unusual effect of simultaneously irritating and worrying me. She will not be losing her collar and running off to flirt with the boys, they always get the blame, again. Or not unless/until she finds a way to lose the harness.

Jezzie is lying at my feet  shivering.  She could be lying near one of the radiators the central heating is on and herselfs electric radiator is on its never switched off.  Or Jezzie could if she chose lie on one of the cushions and she has been known to sprawl in a very unfeminine fashion all over the spare bed.  For such a little dog its amazing how much room she can take up.  Its also quite surprising to find that a small dog lying shivering at your feet can be distracting is I think the right word.

I'm not weakening she is wearing the damn harness until she decides its her friend.

Nelson Mandela

Respect

 He spent thirty years in prison and emerged as the one man who could give South Africa the opportunity of peaceful change.

One day there maybe other words but not today. 

I'm Trying

To decide what to do next.  I did think that the prolonged way would suit me better but perhaps I relaxed too much. I'm thinking every time I relax it gets worse.

So

You bastards its like this.  I had my all singing all dancing magical security system and it was simply super.  No problems whatsoever, but then.....

As regular and illegal visitors to this blog will know I enjoy watching You Tube so I was dismayed when for some reason best known to technology my wonderful and secure security system began to arbitrarily cut me off whenever I switched You Tube on.  I was very dismayed I contacted the security help desk and they went through everything with me and then suggested I should disconnect the security system whenever I watch You Tube.

Are you still here?  I love the old movies on You Tube, the music and even some of the nuts, particularly the bald as a coot ones  you know them! The so full of shit ones they've taken to believing their own rhetoric, not to mention stealing the pentagram for their advertising.

I was comfortable I thought the days of hacking etc. etc. were gone and so I relaxed and from time to time when I wanted to watch You Tube I would switch off security.  Then I noticed my laptop had been attacked by something called a Trojan Horse and then one of the usual suspects posted about malware and virus cleaners You can imagine my horror when it began to dawn on me that perhaps the days of hacking etc. etc. had not gone far enough...

I have reinstated and updated the security system and I miss You Tube. You can also imagine what I think of the cause.

Silly Childish Name Recognition Games.

 Unacceptable. Don't Bother Looking Here You Won't Find It...And I won't Play.  Again...

A house husband in a two up two down in Dorset almost ruined a life and then thinks he can be identified by county and I will stand for it? There’s a price and the old saying is right money isn't everything: vengeance is.

Mick needs to be taught a lesson and so do those fools of accomplices.

Sunday

So I was going out to lunch the usual thing meet a couple of relatives eat have a drink and come home.  All done in a couple of hours and for about twenty euros.  Its not bad it gets me out timing is flexible and the chatter always cheerful.  It gets on my nerves.

However. I'm not going today. Today I have potatoes, they've got to be cooked. I'll probably be cooking them for months and yes I have considered boiled, baked and mashed, and no that will not do the trick which is to get rid of the potatoes as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Anyway potatoes are not the only thing on my mind; there is cat litter. I'm developing a bit of a thing about cat litter. Herself is very clean. I mean that the beautiful old girl is very clean. She also flatly refuses to go out in the nasty cold, damp, misty weather. Cat litter is not something I have needed to consider in any way for a long time. A very long time.

Its in the bathroom.  Its my fault I do know that. I bought what I consider to be the wrong stuff.  On the packet it said clumping cat litter. I envisioned nice tidy little clumps. I did not consider for one second gray, ugly mud which leaves paw prints. I bought two bags of the stuff. I will not be buying it again and the second bag will go in the shed for posterity to decide what to do with it. Hopefully a rat will find it and choke.

In the meantime I have decided that dinner tonight will be cheese and potato bake. I can't decide if I'm going to put anything else in it. Onion of course but sauce?  Maybe not. I'm not in the mood for sauce. I'm not in the mood for potatoes. 

It Needs to be Said

I've been reading a blog for several weeks, it feels like longer, written by a left winger who is so disgusted with British politics that he threatens to up sticks and go live in some left wing European utopia the rest of us have yet to discover.

I think I know this person quite well, not through his blog I don't think that shows the real him at all, but through some of his pseudonyms.  He and I have met before. He is not a friend.

Currently he is writing about a poor downtrodden member of the blogosphere who, no coincidence here, is a friend of his. As a friend of his this person is being given stalwart support and fulsome praise its all rather touching or it would be if I didn't know the blogger and I'm pretty sure I do.

I'm also a member of the blogosphere but I'm at the extreme end of those who write because we like to and my blog when it started was meant to be nothing more exciting than a small record of my life in retirement, obviously the blog would touch upon other subjects as they occurred and interested me.

Oh boy, little did I know when I began how precious, arrogant and pompous are some members of the blogosphere.  This post is about a particularly arrogant and aggressive member.  I've never known him waste courtesy on anyone nor have I ever heard him give way to any view that disagreed with his.

The main reason people write blogs is because they can't get full time jobs as journalists and their dream of writing a book may become a reality but their dream of anyone buying a copy probably will not.  I write because I enjoy it. I don't often do it properly I could spend a few extra minutes checking grammar, spelling, punctuation etc but where's the fun in that?

Pompous people irritate me he is one of them  

Sometimes

Quite often I get the distinct feeling that I'm being accused of blackmail.  I know blackmail is a dirty word its also a very serious word.  It says I know something about you that you don't want anyone else to know and if you don't do what I want, often involving large sums of money, I will tell the world.

Blackmail is a dirty and very serious word.  No doubt about it.  In this case if there is doubt its in the use of it in certain situations.   For eg.  Here are a group of people who have assaulted,  hacked, thieved, deleted emails and photographed an innocent person and no they did not do this in one terrible, mistaken night, they did this over a period of years for the fun of it because they thought the offending person was so stupid and ignorant and worse was unaware of their stupidity and ignorance.

Then they found out that the person not only knew but had for years been collecting hard evidence and the deleted emails etc were not as deleted as had been assumed.  The person lets call them by their rightful title: the victim let it be known as soon as the photography was brought to her attention that the game was up, they were caught and retribution was demanded.

The gangs reaction was to make a series of anonymous promises. Yep, the kind that are not worth the paper the gang wouldn't dare print them on. The victim isn't interested in cash, although admittedly cash is always useful.  The victim wants and needs the truth because without it there will never be a time when the victim is not at risk.

The blackmail accusation is yet another example of the way the gang tries to intimidate the victim. In some ways its typical of the kind of domestic abuse where the abuser over time and escalating violence manages to convince the abused that its all their own fault. If only they were not so stupid, ignorant and unable to see how stupid and ignorant they are the abuse would never have happened.

Google & Microsoft

Are to introduce new strict rules, checks and specific technology to try to ensure child abuse is not shown on the internet or on anything controlled by them I should say.  Its good news, very good news or it should be.

Why are Google and Microsoft only acting now to attempt to prevent this obscenity?  Is it likely they think child abuse is new? Frankly I'm not impressed. I don't understand the inaction.  Child abuse is known, the hot spots preferred by paedophiles are known.  The way some paedophiles direct their careers to give them easy access to children is known.

All of it is known and yet action against it always seems way too little for what is necessary and often appears to be nothing more than an attempt to allow the subject to drop out of the public consciousness by lulling us into believing everything that can be done is being done. And we believe it that is we believe it until the next obscenity is revealed usually by the death of one of the small children we were supposed to be protecting.

I'm suspicious of this latest move if the NSA can crawl all over American and every other nationalities emails etc why do paedophiles continually slip through the net and why has it taken the big two so long to do something they must have had the technology for a long time.

Many child abuse experts and even some online commentators are less than impressive drooling as they do or seem to over every newspaper clipping and report. I do understand their surface reasons I've mentioned them above but one or two individuals are less than convincing and that is what we should all be watching out for; the expert who on close examination may be found to have ulterior motives for his/her activities.

Google and Microsoft's latest actions are on the surface admirable but it highlights the deeper and unanswered reason for their inaction over a very long period. I hope it at least succeeds in cutting some of the evil that's out there but I'm not convinced it will get anywhere close.

I'm giving Google and Microsoft the benefit of the doubt here and assuming that this laudable if belated initiative has nothing to do with an attempt to distract us from any bad publicity resulting from the Snowden disclosures.....That would be a very cynical thing to believe.....

Possession is Nine Tenths of the Law!

I'm going to get one of those swish cameras the ones that let you load the pictures onto the laptop and when I do that I will take a picture of what's going on behind me. This will not be of interest to any of the usual pervs its only of interest to me and possibly anyone who likes to see a perfectly harmless rapidly aging woman being bullied by her cat. Pippa, as anyone who knows me knows, is a bully and a thug she bullies her much bigger sister unmercifully or she does unless the subject is food in which case she feigns contempt for such boring essentials.

This time the battle is being fought out over and on a chair.  I've posted a picture of her evicting Ollie from this particular chair. Some thick as shit unmentionable mentioned the chair as though it had some sort of snob appeal.  It doesn't it has long been Pippas chair and she does not care for snobbery, no aristocrat does, nor does she care for takeover or rather take back bids.

I have been busy moving furniture, these days it takes me longer and I have to be careful not to damage the fragile back but!  I decided it had to be done so done it has been. It involved moving the chair. I can't think why I didn't realise there would be a power struggle. The truth is it never even crossed my mind. I moved the chair to its new home in my spare bedroom come study not even giving a thought to the evil little squatters claim to territory.

Pippa doesn't mind the chairs new home which funnily enough is behind my desk. This would be the desk with my laptop on it. I need to use the desk because I sometimes use more than one piece of technology, the laptop and the net book fit easily on the desk neither is comfortable on my lap.

Aanyoldhow this has resulted in Pippa laying siege to almost all of the seat of the chair.  I'm reduced to perching on the edge and if I make a sudden or indeed any move even to get off the damn chair she counter attacks by running up my back. I don't like it!

I will take a picture and see just how triumphant is the look on her face. I'm not giving in and changing chairs. I'm not!

I've been Thinking

About Art, that's Art with a capital A thank you very much. Sometime earlier today there was an auction of paintings and stuff I think some sort of record was broken to do with the amount of dosh withdrawn with no need for anesthetic from the kind of fools who have no real idea of what they're looking at and nor do they care as long as its in the right package and with the right signature.

As you've probably gathered I don't care for Art art.  I am though I admit it a little bit arty I do tapestries, embroidery and sometimes knit and crochet.  All of which is arty if hardly recognised as such until if it survives its a couple of hundred years old.  Not that it matters recognition is not why I do it.  Nor have I ever wondered what it would be like to be a famous artist.  I simply cannot imagine living the lie or involving myself in the conversation we all have to draw a line somewhere.

I suppose its possible that these objects have been purchased by museums and if that is the case well done those museums.  I can't raise much enthusiasm regardless.  691 million dollars that's the amount of the sales net.  Don't you feel sick?  There are thousands of people all over the world who will go to sleep hungry tonight, there are more thousands recovering from that appalling typhoon and all of them will be as beggars homeless and deprived and the world has 691 million dollars to waste on Art.

I read something along the lines of 'I've stopped pretending I don't understand art'. It doesn't take a genius level IQ to know that it was a throw away remark probably part of a conversation quite likely meaning the opposite of what is implied here.  So what it was an immediate reaction and became part and parcel of my thoughts about Art.  

Here's a news flash I've always understood Art its not about art its about prestige and cash and its thoroughly depressing.   Am I being snobbish?  Are there works that enthrall and delight me?  Oh yes but are they worth saving and using almost as a form of currency?  No they're not.

I'm impatient; today people all over the world will be filling in forms, writing cheques using their credit cards to send money to the people of the Philippines I honestly doubt that they will get anywhere near 691 million dollars.  I hope I'm wrong. 

Now that I've sort of vented my spleen on the unmentionables I feel I should add that both my tapestry and embroidery are often done with what could be called an ulterior motive, oftentimes they become a kindofa part of ritual, they are for or about someone their good health and supportive welfare is in everything from the design to each stitch.  Its one of the ways to gather and construct my thoughts.

Think Dorian Gray but pink!

Cronetalk talked

Now that was strange or not depending on whether you’re as suspicious of characters as I am, I am steeped in suspicion and with very, very good reason.

I write for fun, for tears and rage. It may not be good but it is always me. Not a nice person? What the fuck is she? I can’t match nice I can only be myself.

Its known that some subjects bring an instant reaction in all of us. Child abuse is probably one of the main instinctive ‘kill’ ones, as is rape and when you combine child abuse and rape you have unforgiven and unforgivable. My reaction is typical nurture the wounded and render the pervert permanently incapable.

I watch some films consciously avoiding anything too gory I don’t need to see the blood to know we bleed and I’ve never outgrown a kindof fear of dark films. I watched and really liked The Last Samurai. Cruise should have won an oscar for that film.

Maybe there’s time for me yet if not as much as of yore. If I had to guess I would say recovering from child abuse is the work of a lifetime. If that work has to be continued in the face of other obstacles it must inevitably give rise to the question Why? And I don’t have an answer I doubt anyone has anything but glib nonsense sound bites.

Not Quite a Recipe

Its been years, I mean that must be something like twenty or thirty years since I made it.  The kids would have been at school.  I am of course talking about macaroni cheese, its so long since I cooked it I wasn't sure I remembered the recipe not that a little thing like that holds me back following recipes is not something I've ever been known to do properly.

**Macaroni cheese has been on my mind for the last week or so d'ye see.  Its an easy meal to make even without a recipe and considering the cost of groceries its not very expensive at all.

This evening I decided tonight would be the night.  I hadn't bought anything particular for it but who doesn't have pasta and cheese in their house?  I put the pasta to boil, grated the cheese, strong cheddar then  I grated an onion, put some cream in a pot added garlic and stuff* and put it on to bring it to a simmer.

The pasta and sauce were done at about the same time all I had to do was layer the pasta, cheese and onion into the dish, pour the sauce over all and put it into a preheated oven for about half an hour. The thing about macaroni cheese is that by the time you put it in the oven all the major ingredients are cooked its a question of letting the cheese and in this case onion melt and blend into the sauce and the macaroni and that to me is very much up to individual taste.

I almost forgot the salad!  I always have a small salad and this one was quite ordinary so I needn't have mentioned it but if I'm going to talk about recipes I have to mention the salad I always have with a meal.  I don't often have a starter or pudding but I do always have a side salad.

I don't think I could honestly recommend macaroni cheese for every day or even week but every couple of months or so is about right.  I hope I don't forget and leave it another twenty years.  I doubt I have that many left!  Its so easy!  You can mess about with it adding whatever spices or sauce you fancy and you get this very tasty and filling meal.  Loved it!

* I shouldn't have lumped almost everything as stuff!  No, I won't give the full recipe but it occurs to me that I should give at least a proper idea.  So, I used garlic, I said that!  And a bay leaf, I always use bay leaves they add so much, but remember to take them out when you've finished cooking.  I added a little mustard, not much I'm not a fan of mustard.  And that's it.  No flour or butter and I always use cream not milk it may not make much difference to anything except the way I think of it but the way I think of it is all that counts when its all for me.

**Aaand.  I want to add although you probably know that you don't need to use macaroni to make macaroni cheese any pasta will do I used the spiral ones this time and I think they work better than skinny ole macaroni.

Relatives coming to lunch this week I think I'll make it again with salad.  Yes?

Budget Day

I missed todays budget, not that watching the damn thing like a hawk would have made any difference to my life but I would like to know how much its going to cost me and I know in advance that it is going to cost me. At a guess I'd say increases on booze, fags and paye, benefit cuts will almost certainly include jsa, medical cards and care and perhaps some other areas.  I just can't decide if I'm eager to find out the worst or if I should have a glass of wine while I still can.

Its been such a lovely day I had to go to town the gardener was due and budget or no he has to be paid.  I also had to go out for a short time earlier this evening and it was a joy! Seldom do we get such lovely clear evenings, when I got back I couldn't resist spending a minute or two in the garden with the dogs and cats.

Time now to spend what's left of the evening doing subtraction.

Olly

Olly is much better today thanks for asking but last night was very worrying.  He was sick, clearly that's not his fault but he was so ashamed!  I think his guilt made it much harder for him.  He wanted to go into the garden so I let him out, this would be between say 1 and 1.15am. After about ten minutes or so I opened the door to call him, Jezzie ran in but there was no sign of Olly.

I left the door open thinking he would try to slink in unnoticed, did I mention its quite cold in the small hours now?  He didn't.  Torch in hand I went into the garden and peered everywhere.  I couldn't see him.  I went to the back door opened it and again went out to try to see him. He was nowhere to be seen. I left the back door open and returned to the front to see if had materialised there. He had not. Now I left both doors open, it was really quite chilly, and settled to wait.

At about 3am Olly reappeared shivering even more than when he first went out.  I locked all the doors and settled for a night on the sofa watching him.  At about 5am he climbed onto the back of the sofa and let his paw dangle just above my head.This is his favourite alpha male position.

I knew he was feeling better.  He is not a young dog and cocker spaniels are not known for their longevity, but he is much better today and so therefore am I.

Cronetalk is a State of Mind

I don’t want to become suspicious of peoples emotions or their emotional motives that’s a whole other world from common or garden greed and criminality.  Psycho is one thing there are no emotions so its a kind of permanent stand alone thing even if the psycho doesn’t think so.  There may be some, probably many, who have no idea they are psychopathic they can't see it for them their behaviour is normal and that's frightening. 

Actions caused by strong emotions are very different.  As far as crime is concerned: if a crime is committed there is a case to answer which I think is separate from the emotional reason for committing it although the reason may be taken into consideration if it gets to court.

If there is no crime but there is emotional overload I don’t want to be the one who says stop being silly; you’re on your own. Some may be strong enough to deal with the sense of isolation others almost certainly won’t.

The coward in me wants to run at the mere hint of someone in emotional depths; what could I do?  But there is another part of me that says the least you could do is listen.

Yesterday a woman,  she looked about the same age as me, but even more intellectually challenged than I am approached me to tell me how much she liked my hair.

Can you imagine?  No of course you can’t.  I had left my hair down something I rarely do when I go out, its way past my shoulders now thick and wavy and half a dozen colours all of them mine.  I thought it looked like a gray hell she thought it looked lovely and actually stopped me to say so. I smiled and who wouldn't? I could have brushed her off with less than a sentence some I've no doubt at all would, but for why?  Instead I slowed we chatted for a bit, this lovely childlike woman changed my mood and my day. .

I never want to be the one who rushes by.

---

If someone lied, again, should I call him out it would be easy or should I think of my three good friends two dead one permanently grieving?  I will not take suicide less than seriously if others choose to play another of their sick little games with it that's their choice.  It says quite a lot about them.

Biddy Early 1798 - 1874

An artists impression of Biddy Early with the bottle she was said to always carry with her.  One of Irelands most famous witches although she is very unlikely to have called herself a witch.  Biddy was a healer and much respected, she worked with herbs and natural remedies.  She was also clairvoyant.  Biddy was charged with witchcraft but the trial collapsed when no witnesses would testify.  She was taught by her mother who died when she was sixteen.  Biddys world was one where most people could neither read or write, she like so many was never taught.

She was not known to belong to a coven, through her long life she continued as all witches must to teach herself.    She was charged with witchcraft but the trial collapsed when no witnesses would come forward.   Biddy married three times and had one child a son.   Biddy appears to have paid no attention to the church or any other authority.  In almost every way she was exactly the kind of witch we all strive to become.

Apart that is from the drinking, two husbands dead apparently from drinking too much alcohol, which is not as surprising as it sounds to us now,   Biddy lived at a time when barter not cash was the main means of exchange among poor people.  Hers was a world of small gifts for service and many of those gifts were whisky and poteen.....

This is not intended to be a strict analytical account that would bore me.  This is a small tribute to an amazing woman respected among her community and clearly very much of that community.

Respect

My Fault!

So okay I weakened I admit it I am not a strong individual.  I give in to weakness, to sad looks and soppy kisses particularly when they're from her.

She is elderly now, not strong, a fragile creature with teeth problems.  I swear coming and going we all get teeth problems I don't know why they were ever invented.  She is old skinny and fragile and I weakened, but however weak and soppy I may be, I told my relative when we went shopping that I was not going to cook it for them. No! I was being firm I bought ready cooked chicken in four easy to pull apart pieces.

She is currently purring into the radiator which I thought I might as well switch on this being the time of year when however clammy the days the nights can get chilly and an elderly cat feels the cold.   She is wrapped around the radiator purring like a pneumatic drill and doubtless dreaming of chicken,  Its really surprising how, considering she can only lick in a very disdainful way at her own multi vitamin proper cat food, she yet manages to chew quite large chunks of chicken, she was too greedy to wait while I chopped it into bite size pieces,

The only problem with buying her chicken is the other four insist on  having their share.  Its expensive and time consuming and Olly was so excited waiting for his turn he forgot to bark.   She has been the subject of some debate today.  I say she is eighteen I mean she's my cat I should know!   My relative says she's nearer twenty.  I don't want to think about that, twenty and chicken may not be entirely unconnected.

I'm fine with it.  I am!  I have five well fed animals and herself is happy.  Of course I still had to buy all the regular cat and dog food, they don't look upon chicken as a proper meal.  Its a snack.   I've had enough I'm finishing with this subject right here besides they're all waiting for me to go into the kitchen.

Shit Happens...

I like Bournemouth, the people there were old when I was young. Got a decent beach too, I got sunburned there once. I think if I was giving a false address I would give Sandbanks, unless of course you actually live there, but even then. Oh well perhaps its sheer coincidence. Again.  Bournemouth, its not a bad place to live, better to be on the edge of the town  rather than stuck in the middle of it.

 High on the cliffs there's an old house with a big garden. Its a relic of other times. If you look up you can see, under the eaves, tiny, airless windows where the servants used to sleep. If you go down the stairs you will see the old kitchens where the staff worked from dawn until the master said it was bedtime.

The house has other windows long, gracious, staring sightless into forever. The master bedroom, a huge room seeming to spread from one side of the house to the other has a built in closet. Sometimes if you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of rustling, clothes? At other times you could swear you hear the sounds of a stifled giggle or smothered snarl...

Its midnight, a full moon rides the world and the old house appears to sway in the summer breeze. A shutter is hanging open and the sound of wood hitting stone echoes through the garden and off the cliff. The trees, a welcome shade during the day, at night become gaunt twisted arms reaching for the unknown. In the distance you hear the cry. Instinctively you turn, no, it can't be, not a banshee, not in Bournemouth...

The sound changes becomes a mournful howl in the night. Is it a dog no, surely its more like a wolf? The impossible thought is too close to the lost, sorry sound to be easily dismissed. How likely is it that one of the oldest, most feared creatures may be out in the big old garden on this clearest of moonlit nights?

The history of the werewolf is interesting, for three weeks out of four your average werewolf is the most peaceful, apologetic of creatures: urbane, sophisticated he wouldn't dream of cocking his leg on someone else's lamp post, but come the fourth week the moon rises and the howl spreads across the wolfs territory. You try to comfort yourself with the thought that when howling the werewolf is not actually killing. Unsurprisingly it doesn't help much.

The unaccustomed noise has sent icicles of apprehension dripping down your spine, and now with heightened senses, you notice there are other worrying sounds. The almost but not quite footsteps, the scraping, clawing at the door. Is it possible someone knows what a handle is but not how to turn it? You rush to close the shutter and can't fail to notice the silhouette flooding across what had once been a lawn, surely its very large for a dog? and are dogs claws so long and crooked? And, surely as hunched as it is, its standing on its hind legs? How many dogs walk upright?

You make sure all the doors are locked and barred, sure nothing's getting in here tonight. In the closet the noises are different, a shift change? Little things shiver across your mind: Can the closet be opened from the inside? Is it possible there's a passage from the closet to the garden? Or are you mistaken, did the sound change to a pathetic Baa? Perhaps its not real people, could it be an entire flock of sheep are in there? How cosy...(Werewolves are shape shifters. They can do sheep)

In the garden a black cat stares at the moon, ears twitching and tail swishing at the sounds from the house. Unperturbed by the wolf it settles under a tree to watch the deliberate approach and the unprovoked attack. If you look closely you can see a tiny mouse trapped and wriggling in the cats paws.

A werewolf, in Bournemouth? How too, too Gothic. And, WHAT?



First Posted:-  19/11/2012  Thought I'd give it a little dusting and airing today

Office Junior me

cronetalk

http://www.123rf.com/photo_12012828_this-is-an-antique-old-fashioned-black-telephone-switchboard-with-plugs-connectors-buttons-and-switc.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_switchboard

http://www.britishtelephones.com/ericsson/n117.htm

I brought these here because they were a huge part of my early working life. In an office they would simply be known as switchboards often abbreviated to 'boards'. As far as I know the technical name for them was PBX (private branch exchange). The biggest multi person boards were called 1A Lamp you would find them in the GPO, later to become BT.  Large companies and local authority offices also used 1A lamp boards.. PBX  10 x 50 or double the size with say a maximum of two operators would be the usual kind of system in most small to  medium offices.

I started work as a junior, the lowliest position in office work.  It was my job to make tea, run errands, do the filing,  take the blame and operate the roneo, anyone else remember them?  A roneo was a kind of printer you typed whatever onto a prepared, kind of grease proofed plastic sheet, attached the sheet to the roneo and ran off as many copies as necessary.  As a junior I would also if I was lucky get to type anything the secretaries would let me,

Junior was a time honoured position, most secretaries even if they went to college started off shadowing more senior staff. Today the position is possibly filled by interns working for nothing and if it is its a disgrace.

I didn't mind being a junior.  I liked running errands it got me out of the office, making tea was easy and I could make mistakes in my typing, if I had done so in later years I have no doubt I would have been sacked, even I would sack me! And I loved the switchboard.

I really did love those big old beasts of machines, if you pulled the cords right there was a very satisfactory twang if you were in a bad mood, and it was amazingly easy to listen into the telephone calls if anything exciting was happening which unfortunately in my experience never was.  You know what kind of excitement would there be?   The occasional office affair, well yes, but they’d hardly need to make phone calls would they besides everyone knew the old switchboards could be leaky things with anything personal.

No one stays office junior for ever you either leave and get a senior job or you stayed and got a promotion the problem with staying was there are relatively few jobs in small to medium companies where being promoted feels any different.  I changed jobs often for a couple of years and then settled for routine.

Anyoldhow it seems looking back as though one day there were these wonderful highly polished wooden machines with long cords that sprang back and forth and made music and the next there was a much smaller plastic box with no character and the cords had been replaced by switches.

The new boards were actually not much different to the lovely old ones, they were just smaller but there was one advantage, if it could be called that, people could now make their own calls, dialing nine would get them an outside line and off they would go.

I don’t recall caring or even noticing when the old PBXs went.   I was probably too full of shit to admit missing them but looking back?  I loved those machines and I missed the humanity of them but mostly I think I missed the feel of the hub of the office

If you wanted an ‘outside line’ you asked the board.  If you wanted someone called you asked the board and if you wanted to gossip you stood at the switchboard and chatted in low voices picking up, dropping and rejoining a conversation whenever the board stayed quiet!  The switchboard was kind of where the whole office came together.   I miss them

Natural Born Witches?

I wrote this as an answer to someone on pagan discussion board.  It's what I and in a way what I hope all practitioners of the craft believe.  I brought it here, as poor as it is, because I like it.

I don't know if you're a natural born witch or not how could I?   All I can tell from this post is that you've not given a shred of evidence.  There was a time when I thought it best not to tell someone if I doubted their veracity.  Why if they didn't hurt me would I attempt to hurt them?

I have since learned that not saying something can be judged as much as anything we do say.  I can't tell if you're a natural born witch but I hope you are because its obviously a huge part of your faith in yourself and we all need to have faith in ourselves.   

What none of us should do is judge others and find them lacking if either they are not or can't prove that they are naturals, that is just a form of class or caste system.   No witch needs or should have to become expert on mythology to be a witch; its not called mythology for nothing. 

Belief in the ancient Gods and Goddesses is not proof of being a witch nor is being Wiccan or being Satanist. I have in the past read umpteen books about witchcraft and various different faiths but though they may have been part of my learning process they were not the core of it.

Obviously I do still read about the craft and what I suppose must be called polytheism but now I'm more likely to be selective choosing to research something I may have heard or read either in a book or online further, not to prove or disprove any point but out of interest and in order to gain understanding.  Imo no witch should ever claim to be an expert on the craft we are all always learning.  

I might decide to cast a spell for something and decide I actually don't like the ritual I've worked out for myself in which case I might check my books and online to see if there is something that suits me better.  If its available and a witch likes it I see no reason why s/he shouldn't make use of it and if something is made public the author/owner of the spell is making it available and therefore can have no objection.

Since it appears to mean a lot to you I hope you are a natural born witch.  It doesn't mean much to me personally I accept us all and providing there is no harm to me take a very relaxed attitude to the beliefs of others or how they came to the craft.

---

I should add that if there is one faith I do have a problem with its Satanism its a construct of Christianity the upside down cross etc based on Christian beliefs.   I suppose its not really a problem the beliefs of others are nothing to do with me, but I am sceptical of Satanism or rather I instinctively distrust and dislike it.   No obvious reason but does there need to be, hmm?

---

Another thought of mine, actually a response to some silly little upstart on another discussion site:

DeleteDeleteAccountants, are the rest of ye lawyers by any chance?  What you're saying is that some parents teach their children to add up which leads us naturally to the fact that some parents teach their children to be witches.

Its all possible.  I disagree with you about spell casting to cast a spell accurately and powerfully requires a lot of concentration, learning and practice.  I don't want to cast a spell for something and find out my family, the neighbours and the cats pajamas have got it too. I hope you are a good accountant.

I find it irritating that some of us are so dismissive of the genuinely held beliefs of others, what they're actually saying is:  "You can believe anything you want but if you believe X you're nuts and not too clever either".   Who gave them or anyone the right to judge?  Harm none is part of the Wiccan rede there is nothing wrong with it, all it does is tells us all to be pacifist in all our dealings.  I don't consider myself bound by it but nor do I consider it harmful or dictatorial, basically it pretty much mirrors my own attitude so I even at times quite like it and certainly have no problem quoting it as one of my own beliefs if I think the occasion merits it.

This idea of natural born witches does interest me and yes I do think its possible, I believe we all have magic in us, being a witch is more than magic and takes a long time to learn or understand, or at least that is my opinion, others may and some definitely do, disagree.  

Liam Adams = Guilty

Has been found guilty of sexually abusing his daughter Aine starting when she was aged five.   I've written about this case previously and I may add links but I'm not sure I should Aine is free now.  She is as she herself said beginning her life at forty and who would want to spoil that beginning by reminding her of the details she wants to forget.   I'm not suggesting for one minute that Aine or anyone of her family or friends would read this only that what I condemn in others I can't in honesty produce here.

Its not necessary to use the facts to further condemn Adams he will be sentenced on the details already known. Maybe his family will stick by him.  If I were his daughter I might not but if I were his brother I would consider it my duty, and to be fair its not possible to stop loving someone we carry on regardless I hope the Adams family do rally round.

Its been said that Liam Adams father was himself an abuser and obviously the impression is that Liam and/or other members of his family were abused, they will know and I hope if its true that will enable them to offer Liam some understanding.  Its hard not to be angry and maybe smug but Liam Adams grew up in a very strange household and we should all think on that before condemning him utterly.

Gerry Adams snr is said to have been a very unpleasant person I feel sorry for his wife and children.   I think they may have suffered in silence for years partly because its what families do, partly because their family is one of those steeped in the ugly roots of the IRA and also because as Gerry jnr rose to prominence it must have been or felt impossible to even raise the subject.

Oops

First and undeniable fact:  there are not multiple genders that is a physical impossibility we are all either one of the two genders.  It seems though that some people for physical, psychological or emotional reasons find the two genders confusing sometimes because there are problems from birth and sometimes because later influences cause them to become misaligned.  

There is nothing whatsoever wrong with individuals exploring the possibilities of their own and the opposite gender but the idea that there are more than the original two is nothing, can't be, but the wishful thinking of those suffering the insecurity of indecision, there is nothing wrong with exploration or uncertainty its likely that those who explore and/or are unsure are in a way healthier individuals than those who never question.

So nothing wrong with exploration, education or confusion at all, and these days after centuries of often self inflicted but mainly religious denial no one cares if a man longs to dress as a woman or vice versa.  No one cares if a man wants to become a woman or vice versa. No one cares if men want to have sex with men or women with women,   Marriage is still a problem but those who object to same sex marriages are declining in number and that is healthy and as it should be.

The problem, if there is one, may very likely be that those who have doubts are unsure of their identity.  Its not possible to forge an entirely new identity we are all the product of our genes, environment and upbringing and those are the ties that bind us far more securely than any ball and chain. Its a question of acceptance not the acceptance of others but of ourselves.  We are who we are and within the law we experiment and today after centuries of mostly religious hindrance no one really cares anymore, except perhaps there maybe opposition to change in some individual families, but that like so many family arguments is something that must and can only be solved within the home.

What is beginning to irritate me however is nothing to do with individuals but rather what has become the essential 'vice versa'.   We have to say it.  It shouldn't be necessary, very few members of the public, even less than those who are transgender, care, but the vociferous and continual nagging of a tiny minority have ensured that we must all repeat the same mantra.

Frankly and to use an old and unquestionably sexist colloquialism:  It gets on my tits.    

Concentrate!

Its been awhile since I studied.  I was going to start a course at Uni but found I couldn't get to quite a few of the subjects, I mean that literally, and had very reluctantly to withdraw, there are real advantages to living in a city!

I wasn't going to mention anything about this but my mind kept wandering back to ninety.  I mean its not a bad or difficult number.  If you get to ninety years most of us would consider that pretty good.  Ninety minutes is about the low average length of a film, and if its a film that interests us we usually consider it not long enough.   Being stuck in traffic ninety minutes can seem like the length of time itself and at the end when we finally escape we're often pretty explosive.

The average attention span can be as little as twelve or even eight seconds!  Can you imagine that? The Thing is I can't it seems impossibly quick to be able to absorb anything beyond the usual and oft derided first impression. I'm a great believer in first impressions.  Not for final cast in stone decisions but for that first glimpse of a character?  I wonder if we ever really change our mind I think maybe not or not entirely.

Our attention span obviously varies from the total absorption in something we enjoy and will remain fully engrossed to the end, to the stunned horror of something we totally oppose but will watch often in horrified fascination to the bitter end,  but that kind of hatred is also attention grabbing and holding so perhaps they are the same: the old 'love/hate' being the opposite sides of the same coin thing, but mostly our attention span flits like a butterfly landing than fluttering off in many and varied directions.

There are for eg. a few people who read this blog, now most of them are family and friends and whilst I think they probably take the time to read it rather than simply click and go I doubt they spend much of what might be called concentrated attention on it.  Probably all they do is skim the surface and to be fair that is probably the way I write most of the posts here to be read.  All are fairly short often remaining on top of rather than going deeply into the subject.  This is deliberate I don't like the idea that anyone would think I'm trying to sound like an expert and if I go all long winded and pontificational I'm kind of afraid I might give the very impression I want to avoid! Then again I'm actually not that much of an expert on anything.

Possibly the one subject we, including me, are all experts on is our own attention span and most of us being the kind of people who make up the 'average' person are therefore by default the kind of person who should know about attention spans in general, if not in an academic or analytical (spit) fashion then certainly in the much mocked 'I know what I like' one.

Ninety minutes is not a long time but it can seem like it.  Can you imagine sitting stone cold conscious in a dentist chair for ninety minutes?  I really can't, not without general anaesthetic anyway.   Similarly I can't imagine sitting through an entire live performance at the theatre if I dislike the subject, the performance or consider the acting, structure, or crucially the writing, to be inferior.  I may not be an expert at anything but I know what I like!

Power point is a boon to teaching, sales and entertainment but anyone who gives a power point display lasting ninety minutes, that's ninety minutes that will never be refunded out of a life by the way, is pushing his or her luck. Power point is not intended to be the kind of riveting stuff that holds our attention for a length of time in what is really in terms of education quite long most classes only last an hour or so.  Or perhaps its me I think of power point as intended to brush the surface and whet our appetite for more research or other study. Personally I think of it as a kind of advert for further research or maybe go out and buy the object, book or whatever.

In the real world people on a day trip on what is meant to be a relaxing Saturday may not want to find they've lost a whole ninety minutes!   on the for eg. ancient Greeks or whichever nationality you prefer.  Its asking a lot as is the presumption that all visitors go to a place because they are deeply fascinated most probably go out of curiosity, curiosity if not handled carefully can have the same attention grabbing advantage as the all too well known goldfish.  The other and really most important thing to keep in mind is competition, what else is going on in your field?  I write a blog and even though its deliberately mostly not advertised and private it is still and by default in competition with all the, presumably, millions of blogs out there.

Years ago a good friend of mine, really true and name withheld out of respect, would relate fascinating histories of the ancient Greeks. Whilst the audience were watching whichever opera or ballet some of us staff would be sitting in the foyer drinking coffee and listening to him.  He died of AIDs and his expertise, which is always particular to the individual, died with him.    I've probably forgotten most of the things he told us but what will always be with me is my surprise at finding a member of the catering staff, coffee bar, was such an expert.  My reaction, both patronising and snobbish became a lesson to me never to jump to conclusions about people, someone who wears an apron for a living may very well be an expert in a great deal more than coffee!  And yes, he held our attention, was a very interesting, informative and educational raconteur.

We're all the same when a subject interests us we take the time to listen but that time is rarely given in ninety minute packages.  More like a half hour here an hour there and follow ups on the bus or train to work or school.   Do take the time to think about attention span, Saturdays, and people wanting to cram as much into their 'spare time' as possible.

I could have filled this post with statistics I did check and those I give are as I read them, and as accurate as the article I read, but if I formally added them here what purpose would it serve?   I've not written this to cover the subject in either great depth or particular statistical accuracy but rather to skim it as we do most things. We acknowledge them with the glance and if sufficiently interested our glance becomes a longer look and then, perhaps, an in depth study.

How much time did you have to spare and how much of that precious time did you devote to this post.  Its taken me about three quarters of an hour to write, that's forty five minutes I won't see again!  I've a cat either side of me and both dogs at my feet they need my attention, in fact they are demanding it!  So maybe, just maybe, I've written this as a wee bit of a lesson to those who have the odd and very rare, five minutes from busy lives to spare, do others the courtesy of acknowledging in advance that they too have busy lives to lead.

Hair Raising

I think I must confess that I'm having what might be called, and indeed what I have been known to call others:  A Bad Hair Day, and believe me when I tell you every capital letter is justified.

My hair is long, its also wavy, very defiantly wavy.  In an ideal world I would have a live in hairdresser, short of winning the lottery it ain't ever gonna happen, I must tolerate my hair as best I can and I do but not often with either a smile or anything that could be described as humour.

It is long.  It can't decide if it is gray, brown, near black or white and it arrived at this lack of decision all by itself.  Once I wanted to see what my natural colour, after so many years of bleach and other expensive whatnot, looked like.   Now I know it looks as indecisive as the rest of me.

Usually now that its long I can pin it up in a not unattractive pile and go off doing my thing with hardly a care. Not so today for some reason I can't get it into its pile.  I just can't.  Its down my back, around my shoulders and were it not for strategically placed hair pins in my eyes.

Such is my distress I am seriously considering a trip to the hairdressers but not today, today I have to meet a friend in town and by the time I'm finished trying to control my hair it will almost certainly be well past closing time and getting on for chucking out time in the pubs, that's if I don't chicken out altogether and hide in here for the rest of the millennium.

Do You Ever

Do it?  Talk about money I mean, for a long time I've consciously avoided any mention of it except in the most careless and dismissive way, as if money doesn't matter, well we all know that's a lie!

I suppose it was inevitable that I would grow weary of the pretense I'm like everybody, there are things I need and can't afford, things I wish for and can't afford, people I would love to help and can't afford.   So kinda typical of everyone and I'm bored and becoming contemptuous of my cowardice, because that's what it is when we pretend our world is other than it is.

Such pretense is usually made worse because we're not pretending to ourselves we're pretending to anyone who may pass by, as if they are important.  Fuck that. You know I never swear except when I'm on the internet and that's another thing that's beginning to bother me!

Oh, I'm not saying I'm poverty stricken!  Far from it but I'm the same as all of us and there is as I grow older and slightly breathless, anxiety about those I love and can't help, and about the things I consider important and can't afford.  Once it would not have bothered me at all, which in itself was a mistake money should bother all of us, but back then there was always the availability of more, work longer hours, get another job and so on.   It was, well, I suppose it was normal.

Not any more, now I want to keep my home here and return to England.  I can always go back for holidays and stay with friends and relatives but I can't live independently there not as easily as I would like. Its not about the cost of property although that's obviously a consideration its more about running two homes, gas and electricity would have to be paid for two houses, maintenance would have to be done for both, and of course all and increasing govt charges would have to be paid for both.

So not a big deal just the difference between what a working person thinks is possible and what a retired person thinks of the same situation.   I'm not complaining but I've grown tired of what was feeling like a lie is all.  If I'm broke one month because of for eg...the piggin household charge or a household problem I want to be able to say so honestly and not pretend that such expenditure doesn't affect me.

I'm bored with pretending I don't worry about money or that I don't covet, actually I covet a lot just not my neighbours wife...And, whilst not flat broke I have all the money worries shared by many people of my age and younger here in Ireland