I watched it, well why not I was curious and what’s three minutes in a lifetime? No time at all so why not watch.
I was horrified. I saw a boy so perfect, so handsome he was beautiful – until he spoke. He spoke of murder. He was clear, concise and very serious: when he grew up he was going to kill a soldier or presumably anyone PIRA told him to kill, and you see its important to make that distinction because I long ago decided that the leaders of PIRA are not Irish republicans they’re greedy thieves, murderers, rapists and paedophiles who took control of their communities with the gangland rule punishable by death of: ‘Never report any crime to the police’.
The nights would have been dark there how many street lamps were smashed I wonder. The talk would have been all heroes in a world where shooting a policeman in the back is heroic, gives the bone idle an excuse to remain unemployed and as an added bonus probably provides for a whisky or two on a regular basis for when, you know the children allowance has been pissed up the wall. How safe were those streets? Not at all for police, army or any form of bureaucracy nor for some young girls but the IRA could strut their stuff commandeer (steal) peoples cars and treat their neighbours as serfs.
Some thought it was right, some still do and some are the living image of what that meant and that was the clip I saw a day or two ago. I wasn’t going to write about it but one word used to describe it is stuck in my mind like a tick on a dog.
The word used to describe the man, his surroundings and his demeanor was ‘poignant’.
Fucking poignant me bollocks! What we saw in that dreadful, horrible clip was loss, betrayal, disillusion and heartbreak. That beautiful boy that dreadful, poor wee man is the result of forty or more years of PIRA lies. Its what you get from believing and learning the hard lessons the hard way. Its why so long ago I stopped supporting PIRA. Everyone could see where it was going but no PIRA supporter would acknowledge it.
The man achieved the boys ambition he killed, he got caught and he spent time in prison because of it. He is and I don’t blame him unrepentant I would be too. Its all he has and anyone looking at him could taste the bitter gall of a loss he will never acknowledge. He found out too late that the troubles was not war and its too late now for him to do anything but believe.
The troubles was a gang fest and I don’t for a moment doubt that there are devoted loyalists in exactly the same position as this man, gangs don’t win, they don’t pay pensions and they don’t care.
I felt for that man in his decrepit hovel that’s depression showing and I know what that feels like. You could see it in his face even as he spoke of his trust and faith in PIRA leaders. Trust betrayed maybe because the truth could not be told to those raised on PIRA propaganda.
I wish the man well, hopefully he will receive the help he needs perhaps some bastard in PIRA rich on his lies and thuggery will go to see him and spend some of his ill gotten gains making sure an old ‘soldier’ has his pride, dusted, polished and put back on his shoulders where it belongs. If not social services need to get on with their job and make him as comfortable as possible.
Don’t talk to me of poignant. I never heard such a word used to describe losing something so precious it has no name only an understanding among those who know.
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I’m not going to show the video clip a man who needs help doesn’t need inquisitive strangers gawping at him. He didn’t need a journalist looking for a big hit either. The truth is that interview could have happened in a restaurant or cafe. It didn’t need to be filmed in the mans home, the reason for doing so was that it makes good tv another feather in a journalists cap. I hope the journalist had the common decency to get some help for someone in need, but I doubt it.
