Blogger Me...

We are NOT all professional bloggers I never had the least ambition to be professional and just in case anyone thinks there must have been an ulterior motive I didn't think like that out of some touchy feely please like me modesty. I thought being an amateur would or should remove me from whatever the competition was if that is there was competition. You see I didn't know and I really didn't care. I didn't want to know about numbers and popularity I thought it was wonderful if I got one visitor! Now I don't trust any, sad that.

Not all bloggers want to be professional, not all bloggers want to be part of a team when in some cases they are unlikely even to know such teams/gangs/groups/communities (Huh!) exist before they start blogging. 

I like blogging even though I know the one who illegally filmed me and then shared the film among his community; is also a blogger and I know the reason he felt empowered to do that is possibly because his online 'community' gave him the excuse he needed and faith in his own invincibility.

All very well to think that's harsh but think of the alternative some middle aged pervert trying to film someone he thought of as a young girl even though most of the blurb in this and every other blog I write says the writer is older. So is he a perv a drunk or thick or what? 

Changing the subject slightly but they are loosely connected:

I don't often lose my temper some people think that's funny I think it would be funny if I allowed every little hindrance or irritation to anger me and most of the time there are more subtle ways to make a point.

We are who we are and it would be a boring world if we were all the same, besides the particular cretin who thinks calm is funny is in so much shite I'm certain he will have plenty of opportunities to show us all how he throws his dolly out of the pram.

Today, however, I lost my temper. If I'd had a blunt instrument I would have putt it to excellent use. I'm not going into huge detail I'm saving that for the inevitable excuses from the culprit.  

Generous?

The question mark is because almost everyone I know would almost certainly say I have been very generous, that’s not a boast its a simple statement of fact nor is it something I regret. Except I do sometimes wonder if my generosity was for the person I gave to or perhaps more honestly really, deep down for me?

Is giving money a sign of generosity or is it the easiest thing to do if you have enough to give without leaving yourself short? Because real generosity is when you risk leaving yourself without something you need and I’m not sure I’ve ever done that.

Was being generous to others a way of indulging myself? I do wonder now if that was one reason for my generosity. As I grow older I realise I also kept a very detailed record of all those I was generous toward, and I don’t mean that in a physical or personal way about anyone I remember all of them! And I must admit I’m a bit ashamed of that.

So not very generous after all and maybe not very considerate either I gave because it was easy and very selfish. It served two purposes one it pushed the problem away and  two it enabled me to feel good about myself. The older I get the more I realise I wasn’t generous at all

Generosity was standing outside in an old dressing gown, not caring about cold, rain  or passers by, to rescue a tiny kitten for nothing. I don’t know if it was wise it maybe why I’ve got some sort of bug, but I’d do it again right now and as I grow older I realise doing something that takes more than money is real generosity of spirit and thought.

 =

Always I come back as to an old and valued friend sometime soon I will stop somethings and start others afresh but always I will hold this my oldest and friendliest blog in deep affection.

Moon

I saw the moon last night
So full it blossomed almost red

Once I'd have been there with it
Joyous in the light cast shadows

No more I watched from the window
As she sailed behind and beyond

The trees of long reaching arms
The boughs of many burdens

Joy moved
A bitter harvest

Blogs and Bloggers

There are blogs about how to blog, blogs about the best subject to blog, blogs about law, blogs about child abuse, blogs about domestic violence, blogs about animals, gardening, fashion, paganism, polytheism, witchcraft, trains, buses, aeroplanes and so on...There are blogs about blogs, blogs about how to get more visitors and there are blogs that like to consider themselves magazines or better yet newspapers.

There are journalists who are bloggers and whilst they do usually have a blog they boast about they often also have blogs they would rather not be publicly associated with and there are bloggers who tell as many people as possible especially if the occasion demands it the police, that they are journalists.

Many bloggers are or were teachers. I always say the only reason an English teacher, for eg, is teaching is they can't actually write, and this is a subject I'm going to explore fully with examples in a blog coming to your doubtless eager eyes and gnashing teeth soon. I don't pay much attention to my own grammar and punctuation bloggers put me off and then I got stubborn...But! I do pay attention to some others depend upon it it will be educational

I'm not against blogging I like my blogs and I like to read the blogs others write, but I have discovered through painful experience that there's an underbelly to blogging, several times bloggers have gone too far been caught and managed to look as though theirs is an isolated case, but if you look you find its not an isolated case at all it is in fact the modus operandi and main reason for the existence of many blogs, which in case you hadn't realised it is to become famous celebrities by exposing the outrageous behaviour of others as much as possible. Imagine it all the lonely self deceiving bloggers loose in the ether all of them thinking they know everything and, this is the important bit, they are above the law.

It may not seem so but I think blogs can be very dangerous things they seem to give some bloggers a sense of power, a feeling of invincibility as if they don't live in this world they frolic in an other worldly bubble happily trapped and usually only threatened when one or other of those isolated cases get caught, and that too is a subject I intend to explore fully in the not too distant future, and again there will be several examples.

It seems to me blogging is an illusion to which some particularly vulnerable people with perhaps not many friends in the real world cling. It saves them from reality and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I do know if I had been such a person with no experience and much younger I might have fallen into it, perhaps even with family, friends and sixty years experience I might have succumbed, if that is some bloggers hadn't shown the blogging underbelly they never talk, let alone write about in all its vicious, parasitical and hypocritical glory.

I've had enough of all of them and from now on they can all expect me to be on their backs. Here and quite soon on a new web site and from a new laptop. Truth is truth even for bloggers