Subscription Only? or Not

I’m not in favour of subscription only groups or internet sites I think depending upon the club or site they may add to a victims sense of isolation and otherness. If children and adults are to be helped they must know they are not only not alone they are no different from anyone, they have more problems and they need more help but it shouldn’t be a secret the adults kept secrets for too long and the children are being imprisoned by the secrets they keep. Subscription only indicates only those the group or owner approve of because of that some people may slip through the net intimidated by the need to apply, others may feel their problems are not important enough to qualify and all may lose because the freedom that’s in open groups and speech is lost.

People need to feel relaxed in their situation.  A person who has been abused may find comfort with others who have suffered similar experiences but s/he may also find the very exclusivity is yet another separation from whatever normal is.

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That was the end of my last post on this blog but I couldn't leave it there the subject interests me in a general way  but also some subscription only places and sites interest me particularly because I don’t understand why. Of course there should be places where victims of crime can be counselled and/or be among friends and fellow sufferers but that’s not necessary for most of the time and in fact such isolation, everyone speaking with one voice, could be detrimental as it feeds into the isolation and separateness that can be such a problem for victims.

While such ‘closed shops’ meet the world doesn’t stop and wait, those who are ignorant of abuse need educating and those who suffered or are suffering abuse need to know that there is a freedom in acknowledging the abuse and refusing to let it control or shame you. 

It happened the pervert who did it should be punished and the world should know you ‘took care of business’. Often the hardest part of being the victim of abuse is when ‘other’ people find out but who are those ‘other’ people? When so many people have suffered abuse its entirely possible there’s a victim living quite near you and you want to keep your secret from them too? Does that not leave them in isolation and might they not be weaker than you?

Naturally people will join clubs and groups that follow the same interests but child abuse isn't an interest its a serious crime and all victims should feel empowered to confront their past and the paedophile who abused them. I’m not sure subscription only places help in that regard I think it entirely possible that in a small way, by keeping their doors closed to both the unknown and the disliked they aid the cover up