Once I couldn't get my head around the idea of being twenty one. In those days your twenty first birthday was the day you got the vote and were considered fully adult, from the glorious and immortal age of sixteen it looked old. The big day arrived and apart from a slight depression at what I was convinced was the still distant but rapidly approaching sight of the grim reaper.
I acclimatised to my new official maturity very well in fact it made no difference, I did go to vote at the first election after my birthday; it didn't feel like much. I also discovered I had a problem with the idea of being more than fifty. It seemed a far distance full of old people why they were all almost pensioners.
Now its twenty fourteen and I am; older. My goodness I thought I had done with adventure and cat fights! How wrong was I...And I'm still here if rather more battered and bruised than I would like but still I am what might be described as fighting fit and very wary.
I think this year is an important one I have to finish what others started but more than that I want to move to somewhere I feel not alone safe but also unobserved. Its all very well to stand up to it to decide its not a problem because it probably isn't, but it easily could be and that is one important thing and it has affected me not to crash I've that all sorted but to heal I have to stop it before it does more harm.
Is it likely someone would poison my dogs? No! But was it likely someone would seek out my house, post pictures of the area, come to my home, accost me in it and at the local shops? And all that is in addition to previous illegality. Is it likely someone entered my garden in the night and when they took themselves off carefully left the gate wide open? Oh yes. How easy would it have been for one of the dogs to be knocked down by a car one of their cars perhaps.
Yeah, I definitely think its possible, and that's the thing its not what is or isn't going to happen its what I feel could happen, not to me but to the cats and dogs. If I feel they are at risk I have a responsibility to do my best to ensure their safety by minimising that risk. If ever anything was counter productive! Such antics don't move me to give up but they have almost certainly moved me to move...
In order for me to not just be safe but to feel safe I have to deal with them. Is it that I'm too honest? Possibly but after all I've been through who would settle for less than the truth. Its a kind of sick game with them and its got to stop. I have to ensure that anything they have said to my family is corrected and shown in its true light.
I have isolated myself and I do sometimes wonder would I have done that anyway? I had spent what seemed a lifetime looking after family and working. I wanted to be alone, rest and move on. I think the truth is I would have gone back more often than I have I missed three weddings one of them here in Ireland! There have been years of opportunities for them to tell the truth in a quiet way. Its time to stop hoping they will do that all restraint has done is give them a false sense of security.
That's them out of the way albeit only and too temporarily. Its time to get to see the family properly and regularly again, time to get back to dealing with, or at least enjoying! All the little dramas that are family life. Herself is another reason. At her age such a move would be a strain. Its a classic if it must be done it best be done quickly. Moving will make no difference to what is going to happen so move and make it happen is about right...
I acclimatised to my new official maturity very well in fact it made no difference, I did go to vote at the first election after my birthday; it didn't feel like much. I also discovered I had a problem with the idea of being more than fifty. It seemed a far distance full of old people why they were all almost pensioners.
Now its twenty fourteen and I am; older. My goodness I thought I had done with adventure and cat fights! How wrong was I...And I'm still here if rather more battered and bruised than I would like but still I am what might be described as fighting fit and very wary.
I think this year is an important one I have to finish what others started but more than that I want to move to somewhere I feel not alone safe but also unobserved. Its all very well to stand up to it to decide its not a problem because it probably isn't, but it easily could be and that is one important thing and it has affected me not to crash I've that all sorted but to heal I have to stop it before it does more harm.
Is it likely someone would poison my dogs? No! But was it likely someone would seek out my house, post pictures of the area, come to my home, accost me in it and at the local shops? And all that is in addition to previous illegality. Is it likely someone entered my garden in the night and when they took themselves off carefully left the gate wide open? Oh yes. How easy would it have been for one of the dogs to be knocked down by a car one of their cars perhaps.
Yeah, I definitely think its possible, and that's the thing its not what is or isn't going to happen its what I feel could happen, not to me but to the cats and dogs. If I feel they are at risk I have a responsibility to do my best to ensure their safety by minimising that risk. If ever anything was counter productive! Such antics don't move me to give up but they have almost certainly moved me to move...
In order for me to not just be safe but to feel safe I have to deal with them. Is it that I'm too honest? Possibly but after all I've been through who would settle for less than the truth. Its a kind of sick game with them and its got to stop. I have to ensure that anything they have said to my family is corrected and shown in its true light.
I have isolated myself and I do sometimes wonder would I have done that anyway? I had spent what seemed a lifetime looking after family and working. I wanted to be alone, rest and move on. I think the truth is I would have gone back more often than I have I missed three weddings one of them here in Ireland! There have been years of opportunities for them to tell the truth in a quiet way. Its time to stop hoping they will do that all restraint has done is give them a false sense of security.
That's them out of the way albeit only and too temporarily. Its time to get to see the family properly and regularly again, time to get back to dealing with, or at least enjoying! All the little dramas that are family life. Herself is another reason. At her age such a move would be a strain. Its a classic if it must be done it best be done quickly. Moving will make no difference to what is going to happen so move and make it happen is about right...
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