Well I was I had hoped to be scrubbing the dust off this filthy hole by the 2nd week in July. Alas it was not to be but I don't despair undaunted and improving all the time I now hope to leave this septic isle in a couple of months or so, it won't be up to me I will leave as soon after the doctors discharge me as I can arrange it.
Thing is everything is still so tiring! Really if I had the energy I'd be shocked at how long full recovery is taking. I go to town look more or less alright while I'm there and then when I get home I drop the facade and fall into bed for a couple of hours. Not good enough but I'm giving into it because I'm absolutely terrified of any sort of relapse. I don't think you survive two chances to fuck up as badly as I did.
Moving is in my experience always traumatic, dreadful, painful and horrendous there is it seems to me no easy way to pack up an entire life and move it lock stock and barrel to pastures new. It always hurts and help is notoriously hard to find which I think is probably because no one who has done it wants to be anywhere near it ever again and definitely not for anyone else. Tempers always fray rows happen movable objects get thrown, the heavier more valuable and above all the more important the better.
I've reached the stage of thinking I won't bother I will take me and my cats and dogs and leave the rest to sink into the everlasting bog.
Maybe I will take just a few things those I really like or have an emotional attachment to or bought to take to the new house when I get it and maybe the new washing machine when I get it I'm damn sure I can't wait two or three months to do the washing. I may live like a tramp but I have to have clean sheets and clothes.
Thing is everything is still so tiring! Really if I had the energy I'd be shocked at how long full recovery is taking. I go to town look more or less alright while I'm there and then when I get home I drop the facade and fall into bed for a couple of hours. Not good enough but I'm giving into it because I'm absolutely terrified of any sort of relapse. I don't think you survive two chances to fuck up as badly as I did.
Moving is in my experience always traumatic, dreadful, painful and horrendous there is it seems to me no easy way to pack up an entire life and move it lock stock and barrel to pastures new. It always hurts and help is notoriously hard to find which I think is probably because no one who has done it wants to be anywhere near it ever again and definitely not for anyone else. Tempers always fray rows happen movable objects get thrown, the heavier more valuable and above all the more important the better.
I've reached the stage of thinking I won't bother I will take me and my cats and dogs and leave the rest to sink into the everlasting bog.
Maybe I will take just a few things those I really like or have an emotional attachment to or bought to take to the new house when I get it and maybe the new washing machine when I get it I'm damn sure I can't wait two or three months to do the washing. I may live like a tramp but I have to have clean sheets and clothes.
No comments:
Post a Comment