Its in the press on TV and its everywhere on Social Media. Bullying and bullies the two top trendy words and possibly the most misunderstood subject ever.
It bothers me because by continually using the word to describe trivial events we devalue the meaning to such an extent it becomes a nothing almost meaningless and who ever suffers from anything that is almost meaningless?
Bullying is not one blog post or one insult however wounding nor is it a squabble on Twitter or Facebook, all can cause great harm but neither are full on bullying which should lead us to ask: so what is bullying?
Here is a definition from Wikipedia
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Bullying is never a one off argument between peers every living being grows up with and among arguments that's not bullying not even if you lose the argument.
Bullying is, whatever the experts say, long term. Its a form of character assassination and its a form of imposed servitude similar to slavery. You can run away from it for a time but you can't escape it. In the end you have to face it and deal with it.
The way we deal with bullying varies and can take years. Bullying can wreck our school years because school is not our own or even our parents choice so its impossible to escape the school environment. Its a case then of ducking and diving arriving at school first or last and hiding in cornersd during breaks.
Bullying can force us to move jobs to escape a bully who is impossible to deal with in many cases complaints don't seem to be considered important or relevant to work nothing could be further from the truth a bully will always find a victim and that must cause problems at work.
In some tragic cases the only escape for the victims can be suicide. No one commits suicide because of a one off verbal or physical assault. The assault that leads to suicide is done over time, often involving others and always involving pain emotional and physical and both public and private humiliation.
The answer?
I really don't know. Oh, I know the obvious ones we all know those and we also know they don't always work, some schools seem willfully blind to bullying and some work places actually promote bullies because they see them as driven and driver of people and those firms also refuse to recognise the results of bullying.
Bullying is everywhere even maybe especially in communities the nasty gossip between neighbours and very often church goers because few bullies are worse than the pious, sanctimonious but oh so respectable church goer.
No, bullying is not a slanging match on Twitter or Facebook although they have been known to be an extension of or start of bullying and neither Twitter or Facebook can end bullying that can only come from recognition outside the bulling crowd and from within the bullies.
Often a bully is a weak envious person almost anything they envy is a subconscious reason to hate someone, they see hurting their victim as a way of taking what they envy their victim for and with the advantage as they see it of affirming their own status and popularity within their peer group.
Ending bullying is not a simple or easy thing to do possibly the only way is to find out what is the bullies underlying problem because there will be at least one problem and if it can't be found the bully can't be stopped s/he can only be moved and wherever they go they will take the tendency with them.
In the end both bully and victim are in a shared pain but only by treating the bully can the pain be cured.
It bothers me because by continually using the word to describe trivial events we devalue the meaning to such an extent it becomes a nothing almost meaningless and who ever suffers from anything that is almost meaningless?
Bullying is not one blog post or one insult however wounding nor is it a squabble on Twitter or Facebook, all can cause great harm but neither are full on bullying which should lead us to ask: so what is bullying?
Here is a definition from Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying
Jump to Definitions - Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict.---
Bullying is never a one off argument between peers every living being grows up with and among arguments that's not bullying not even if you lose the argument.
Bullying is, whatever the experts say, long term. Its a form of character assassination and its a form of imposed servitude similar to slavery. You can run away from it for a time but you can't escape it. In the end you have to face it and deal with it.
The way we deal with bullying varies and can take years. Bullying can wreck our school years because school is not our own or even our parents choice so its impossible to escape the school environment. Its a case then of ducking and diving arriving at school first or last and hiding in cornersd during breaks.
Bullying can force us to move jobs to escape a bully who is impossible to deal with in many cases complaints don't seem to be considered important or relevant to work nothing could be further from the truth a bully will always find a victim and that must cause problems at work.
In some tragic cases the only escape for the victims can be suicide. No one commits suicide because of a one off verbal or physical assault. The assault that leads to suicide is done over time, often involving others and always involving pain emotional and physical and both public and private humiliation.
The answer?
I really don't know. Oh, I know the obvious ones we all know those and we also know they don't always work, some schools seem willfully blind to bullying and some work places actually promote bullies because they see them as driven and driver of people and those firms also refuse to recognise the results of bullying.
Bullying is everywhere even maybe especially in communities the nasty gossip between neighbours and very often church goers because few bullies are worse than the pious, sanctimonious but oh so respectable church goer.
No, bullying is not a slanging match on Twitter or Facebook although they have been known to be an extension of or start of bullying and neither Twitter or Facebook can end bullying that can only come from recognition outside the bulling crowd and from within the bullies.
Often a bully is a weak envious person almost anything they envy is a subconscious reason to hate someone, they see hurting their victim as a way of taking what they envy their victim for and with the advantage as they see it of affirming their own status and popularity within their peer group.
Ending bullying is not a simple or easy thing to do possibly the only way is to find out what is the bullies underlying problem because there will be at least one problem and if it can't be found the bully can't be stopped s/he can only be moved and wherever they go they will take the tendency with them.
In the end both bully and victim are in a shared pain but only by treating the bully can the pain be cured.
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