Earlier today I read a post on another blog and it took me on an unexpected little trip down memory lane. I didn't disagree with it at all, celibacy is something that I think grows on all of us slowly and anyway the thought of me swinging off chandeliers makes me bilious.
I was one of those women who had affairs with married men not in my youth when I think if only subconsciously we're all trying to guess which one will be the one we marry and consciously avoiding any man with a wedding ring or who we know is married. I don't remember thinking of any individual but surely I must have. Its just time takes the edge off and you remember Alan and Greg but not if you thought they might be the one.
Do we all marry for love? I doubt it I definitely don't recommend it. Love won't get you a mortgage or pay the rent. Marry for good and sufficient reason and work to make the marriage work is after sixty six years my advice and probably the best way to look at the subject. Wild affairs with the gardener (Lady Chatterley's Lover - boring book) are all very well but gardeners are two a penny the employer of the gardener is a much rarer breed with a bigger house and a healthy bank balance or once he was. Why look for more than is there what does it help? Isn't an affair a kind of refusal to look beyond the time, place and company?
No, its not loves young dream that moved me to type it was the affairs with married men, to me at the time I thought of affairs as good fun and so did the women I knew. One friend said to me it was like bunking off school, and it was. I don't recall it ever being more than an adventure, an escape from the hum drum. It wasn't meant to hurt or Gods forbid cause divorce that would have put a serious dent in the relationship! It was nothing more than a little bit of light escapism and as far as I know did no harm. If it did if maybe divorce happened sometime later then maybe it was always going to happen.
Such affairs are not meant to be deep emotional ties that would surely have spoiled the whole thing. It was a night out, a week or week end away. It was a good hotel and lots of laughter and a sort of different kind of friendship.
If a man or woman enters into an affair looking for more than escapism they should maybe stop and look at their real life first because the best thing about an affair is its not our real life. Another friend of mine shot off to Cannes every year for a rendezvous with her married friend. She was also married the week in Cannes was time out.
I enjoyed every affair I had there were not so many but each of them were free of angst, free of the suffocating will I won't I We both knew damn well we would! In many ways they were the best, most carefree of times
I was one of those women who had affairs with married men not in my youth when I think if only subconsciously we're all trying to guess which one will be the one we marry and consciously avoiding any man with a wedding ring or who we know is married. I don't remember thinking of any individual but surely I must have. Its just time takes the edge off and you remember Alan and Greg but not if you thought they might be the one.
Do we all marry for love? I doubt it I definitely don't recommend it. Love won't get you a mortgage or pay the rent. Marry for good and sufficient reason and work to make the marriage work is after sixty six years my advice and probably the best way to look at the subject. Wild affairs with the gardener (Lady Chatterley's Lover - boring book) are all very well but gardeners are two a penny the employer of the gardener is a much rarer breed with a bigger house and a healthy bank balance or once he was. Why look for more than is there what does it help? Isn't an affair a kind of refusal to look beyond the time, place and company?
No, its not loves young dream that moved me to type it was the affairs with married men, to me at the time I thought of affairs as good fun and so did the women I knew. One friend said to me it was like bunking off school, and it was. I don't recall it ever being more than an adventure, an escape from the hum drum. It wasn't meant to hurt or Gods forbid cause divorce that would have put a serious dent in the relationship! It was nothing more than a little bit of light escapism and as far as I know did no harm. If it did if maybe divorce happened sometime later then maybe it was always going to happen.
Such affairs are not meant to be deep emotional ties that would surely have spoiled the whole thing. It was a night out, a week or week end away. It was a good hotel and lots of laughter and a sort of different kind of friendship.
If a man or woman enters into an affair looking for more than escapism they should maybe stop and look at their real life first because the best thing about an affair is its not our real life. Another friend of mine shot off to Cannes every year for a rendezvous with her married friend. She was also married the week in Cannes was time out.
I enjoyed every affair I had there were not so many but each of them were free of angst, free of the suffocating will I won't I We both knew damn well we would! In many ways they were the best, most carefree of times
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