A Self Portrait...

20 February 2015

So

I wanted to write a post about whatsisname but I couldn't decide the right way to go. I'm concerned he is sick, not with the illness he wants me to believe he has but with a nevertheless serious condition. It affects what and how I write, how could it not. It means for eg that I'm unlikely, unless goaded, to write anything at all derogatory or potentially inflammatory. It means I'm worried about him although why on earth I should be is beyond me to fathom.

Anyway its been a rough week I'm very stressed and very angry I will move within the next few months and then if agreement has not been reached the shit will hit the fan and I'm not looking forward to it. I know its silly of me and I'm going to do it its just me being me.

It requires a great deal of self control not to give John a few highly coloured facts I'm not sure given enough provocation like seeing them that I won't do it. I very well might.

I read somewhere about a new American Council of Witches well why not it won't be the first such council and I'm not sure it would mean anything or get close to a decent membership but if half a dozen or more people get together and decide on that name for their group why, provided its not already taken shouldn't they use it.

Its easy to think America has taken over European Paganism which is odd since, stating the obvious, they are not European and American Pagan roots are not European. Oh you can go back to the Salem Witch Trials but that's as far back as it does go whereas European Paganism goes back a thousand years or more.

What bothers me is not the nationality of individuals or individual relationships with Paganism its the sneaking thought I have that some Americans may be losing a very important part of their own Pagan history in their love affair with the European or in cases Asian. OK there are similarities and connections but American Paganism is close to the marvelous pyramids and temples of the Mayan than it is to Egyptian pyramids and what a connection to lose! How could they stand it.

Stressing affects everything we do, everything we write or even think about writing worse it affects whether we want to write. I want to write but increasingly I'm finding that instead of exploring new ideas I'm concentrating on this never ending anguish. I must deal with it its bad for me.

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