Is another country, or so they say, the older I get the more the past resembles a series of occasions, not even episodes, just quiet nondescript occasions where nothing much happened, people I remember with huge affection spoke and nothing much happened. It was always going to be that way.
Of course it never is, perhaps life really is no more than a series of occasions.
I remember staying up all night with Sam our old boxer/retriever cross. He had dislocated his hip, the vet said he was too old for surgery and his hip might heal almost perfectly, so I lay beside him and waited for him to feel better.
I recall standing over someone waiting for the pills to melt for if I didn't watch closely the pills would be spat down the sink or the toilet and I couldn't risk that.
There was the time someone important came home. It took all day growing worried I went out to look and when I got home there he was.
So many occasions, the time I got up to find out what the noise was and stood at the bedroom window watching next doors washing fly off on its line. It was the London hurricane.
There are a million scenes of occasions, dots in space leading from one to another all that joins them on a line of their own is me.
The past is never gone good occasions sustain us through all times, bad occasions sadden and wound us anew on each stabbing, relentless occasion.
No life is pain free, curse free or regret free. If we can look at each occasion and say we did no harm we are fortunate indeed.
The child I was could have been better, one school report said 'works well when interested' Ah, too often I was not interested. The woman I became was not interested in a permanent relationship, my interest and total focus was on family. The older woman I am today has no regrets the girl and the younger woman marched as she chose. They did no harm.
Of course it never is, perhaps life really is no more than a series of occasions.
I remember staying up all night with Sam our old boxer/retriever cross. He had dislocated his hip, the vet said he was too old for surgery and his hip might heal almost perfectly, so I lay beside him and waited for him to feel better.
I recall standing over someone waiting for the pills to melt for if I didn't watch closely the pills would be spat down the sink or the toilet and I couldn't risk that.
There was the time someone important came home. It took all day growing worried I went out to look and when I got home there he was.
So many occasions, the time I got up to find out what the noise was and stood at the bedroom window watching next doors washing fly off on its line. It was the London hurricane.
There are a million scenes of occasions, dots in space leading from one to another all that joins them on a line of their own is me.
The past is never gone good occasions sustain us through all times, bad occasions sadden and wound us anew on each stabbing, relentless occasion.
No life is pain free, curse free or regret free. If we can look at each occasion and say we did no harm we are fortunate indeed.
The child I was could have been better, one school report said 'works well when interested' Ah, too often I was not interested. The woman I became was not interested in a permanent relationship, my interest and total focus was on family. The older woman I am today has no regrets the girl and the younger woman marched as she chose. They did no harm.
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