A Self Portrait...

07 April 2017

The Single Bed

Traditionally is quite small no more than three feet wide and about six feet long. Its a fine length and width for one person. I know this because for some unremembered reason when I left England I left my big bed and took only the matching single beds I had in the spare room.

And, so I can confirm a single bed is fine, comfortable plenty big enough to share with an elderly cat...

Its also fine to share with a smallish dog who feels the cold and very sneakily wriggles under the duvet, these little things teach us to move up.

Its not bad to share a single bed with two dogs particularly if the elderly cat has gone and the second dog is anyway smaller than she was.

Its actually not too bad to share a single bed with two dogs and one cat one has to be more careful and stick to the edge of the bed but a cat on ones shoulder is doable

The problem arises when two dogs and two cats want to share a single bed

It can't be done.

Cats will not take the foot of the bed, nor will they allow a dog to have anything they want and what a cat wants is everything.



I know I should get a new big bed but I can't bring myself to buy anything new in this house. The picture is of my old bedroom and my perfect Tax is asleep on my side Tax very graciously allowed Trixie and Pippa to sleep on the big bed as long as she had the 'main' space, they kept a respectful distance and she didn't have to look at them.

I miss home.

20/04/2017

I lied.

It is possible for two cats and two dogs to sleep on a single bed, they can if they spread themselves out:

One cat at the foot of the bed, this is quite difficult because cats don't particularly like the foot of the bed but if one of them is in the right mood it can happen.

Both dogs have to act tough and hang on to their edge of the bed regardless of claws and teeth. This is difficult for dogs who are used to a certain comfort in what they regard as their bed.

One cat has to peremptorily take the shoulder of the human and flatly refuse to get off. She does this regardless of shoves, groans, yells, swearing and the tossing and turning of what in I'm sure are most other beds the human owner.

It appears two cats and two dogs can by crushing the feet, legs and shoulder of the human into a space a mouse couldn't occupy sleep together either side and on top of their human.

At four am in the morning also known as the middle of the fucking night said human had had enough.

The human got up.

Put the kettle on, snarled at both cats and let them out into the night which is where they decided they wanted to go,

The human then made the tea got a few biscuits and switched the computer on.

It was half past five and the sky a dirty grey dawn when the human and two dogs got to bed.






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